what is death?

Is it when u can't move ur body?
Is it when u can't feel a thing?
Is it when ur heart stop beating?
Is it when u can't breath spontaneusly?
Is it when ur brain stops working although ur heart's still beating?
Is it when u lost ur will to live?
I'm 24 years old. I study medicine. I still seek the answer.
So for those who by accident or not cause death on someone or some people, u may rethink again about how complicated life & death are.
Think before u act.

Just wanna share my experience in life...

My 2 last years in med faculty was like a dream. I made friends with other students whom I didn't use to gather to, but with them I shared thoughts, struggled through good and bad times together. But I also bumped to a strange person.

It happened on the day when I was having an exam on anesthesiology dept. I was writing down the meds the anesthesiologist gave to a patient through his surgery when suddenly a nurse (I hope God would teach her a lesson after what she's done to me) came out of nowhere and talked nasty things about my family. The secrets I've been hiding so hard from my friends. Maybe she thought it's just daily gossip routine, maybe she didn't realize that one of the people she's gossiping about is actually in the same room with her, but that's not the point!! I mean, why would you talk about someone else's dirty facts inside an operating room when there is actually an operation going on?!WTF

But there I was. Sitting with my eyes staring at the medical record I'm working on and suddenly the writings become blurry. I went to a resting room and couldn't hold my feelings anymore. Thank God it didn't take more than 2 minutes to realize I'm in the middle of an exam. Any moment my examiner would come. The anesthesiologist whispered me calming words when I come back, " Nothing is perfect even a family. I have a problem too. You shouldn't be ashamed. Now make a bright smile and face your exam. I'm sure you'll perform well despite of this nuisance " I thanked him and go to the examiner's office where my "tandem" had arrived earier than me.

My "tandem" (my partner in that exam. Well, it's not actually a "partner" since we don't work on the same case, in fact a "tandem" can become your worst nightmare when he/she can answer the questions better then you) was one of the brightest student in my class. I thought, " Great God. 2 stones you've thrown me today. One was hurting but this one, I still have no idea. Please help me.. I'm devastated "

But as soon as the examiner entered the room, I have a "hollow" feeling inside my chest. I didn't care of what happens next. If it's humiliation I'll get, I won't shed a tear anymore. But it turned out to be okay. Both of us could answer the questions the examiner asked. When I couldn't answer, my "tandem" acted like he can't answer either, vice versa. I almost felt like it's just a discussion when suddenly the examiner said that it's over and both of us had done well. I shook my "tandem"'s hand, thanking him for his "cooperation" I always smile everytime I remember that moment. In times of darkness, God always find a way to light my way again. Since then, I knew he'll be a good coleague

My problems still exist and I still don't know the nurse's name until now. I hope in the near future, I'll hear some stories about her... I prefer the unfortunate ones..

mockingbird

am i the only one thinking her face color is whiter than her body?

somebody should give her a make-up lesson

It's Not Right and It's not OK

A husband left her wife for his mistress, leaving her alone with her daughter, but they're not divorced yet

This woman, thanx to her husband's request before he left, has no job

Her daughter is still attending college but her father pays her tuition and her monthly wage

So they carefully use that money to survive, pay for electric and water bills

They even have to sell things like their fridge, air conditioner , etc

Their life's not like what they used to be, but they keep holding on

Come to think again, this is a common story here but most women, unfortunately, are too ashamed to tell it (Unless they are celebrities with paparazzis around them then the story can be told without being spoken)



It all started with poor knowledge about marriage. About how serious it is so when you decide to do it, you better be ready for the ups and downs because, hey, it's a promise you make in front of God. Not just some sorta legal way to get legal sex



Then comes poor citizenship data-taking. How a person can have so many identity cards in different cities just by paying the officers and automatically, he/she can fake his/her marital status.



Then, fortune. People with money have the urge to get more things in life. Including spouses. Flirting, cheating, all those stuff become the ecstasy from their boring i-can-get-anything-i-want life. On the contrary, people who in urgent need of money tend to do anything to get it. Even when it means you have to be a prostitute.



I'm not judging anyone here. I'll just leave this matter open to the minds of the readers. All I know is, those people in my story are not happy. Yeah, even the father. Because he's cheated himself by cheating the person he had personally chose as a wife. He might have what he wants but he's the truest fool.



From my pessimistic point of view. Good night.


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"Ode untuk para Gajah"

situasi sy skrg sdg berada di tengah 2 gajah raksasa yg lg beradu. sy pelanduknya. ini bukan soal ukuran, tp arti mereka dlm hidup saya.

gajah-1 yang membuat sy seperti ini, pelanduk yg bermental gajah. badan boleh kecil tp kekuatan dan cita-cita segede gajah (sekali lagi, ini semua perumpamaan. kl ada yg mau protes, "gajah kan bego?otaknya aja kecil bgt dibandingin badannya" sy ngga mau bantah. i'm not a zoologist)

gajah-2 yang mengajak sy keluar dari kamp militer dan mendorong sy utk bersenang-senang sekaligus belajar dari dunia luar. jeleknya, ya, jeleknya, dy adiktif. everyday's full of adventure with him.

mereka adalah gajah2 yang selalu bersamaku bahkan di situasi terburuk sekalipun. so, i kinda made a promise that i will do anything for them.

gajah-gajah ini awalnya jalan beriringan, bertautan belalai sementara sy berayun di atasnya. sampai pada satu episode di mana sy ingin menyandarkan badan sy ke salah satu belalai. lebih tepatnya, sy ingin bersender ke gajah-2 krn secara usia dy lebih muda. sy takut kalau sy bersandar ke gajah-1, dy akan cpt lelah krn usianya yg sdh senja.

tapi, bagi gajah-1, sy tetap pelanduk kecil yg ia besarkan susah payah hingga menjadi "seperti gajah" dan serta merta ia merebutku dari gajah-2 dan mulai mengibarkan bendera perang. gajah-2 kaget dong tapi dy segan dan memutuskan utk menyingkir dari kami beberapa saat.

ok, gajah-2 aman. tapi yg tdk ia tahu bagaimana gajah-1 tiba2 membombardirku dengan segala pikiran buruknya tentang gajah-2. pelanduk ternganga dan bingung harus mengambil sikap apa terhadap kedua gajah yg ia sayangi..

in life there's more than "yes" or "no", "black" or "white",etc.

i remember when my guru ngaji (what's it in english?) told me a story about a mother and her son who were boiled to death because they chose to be moslems than to become followers of paganism.
i asked my teacher, "what if they answered 'yes' but still moslems at their hearts? wouldn't they live longer and when her child grows older and create his own family, he could spread their faith secretly if the situation's still dangerous. i'm sure there will come a day when they can practice their faith without fear "

she couldn't answer and then talked to my parents that she quits because she's getting married :P

ngomong2, mnrt sy, situasi di mana anda hanya dihadapkan kepada 2 pilihan itu sbnrnya ngga ada. it's only in your head. if u jump outta the box, you'll see that there are so many answers and opportunities beside those 2 options.

spt seorang tutor sy ajarkan tentang penanganan emergensi pasien shock krn perdarahan :

"Kaga ade infus?Pake buah kelape. Bolongin trus colokin tu kelape, infus trus rujuk tu orang ke fasilitas yg lebih gede. Sampe sono, loe disemprot ama perawat atau dokter jaga UGD yg nerima gara2 'infus' loe bisa jd sumber infeksi? loe semprot balik, 'emang loe pikir isinye infus ame kelape kaga same?! pake otak loe, jgn nyolot doang!' trus loe pergi dah. kl tu pasien infeksi, kan ada antibiotik. daripade dy mati duluan gara2 kaga loe infus sblm loe rujuk? "

(background : para peserta course yang melongo dan menahan ketawa mendengar penjelasannya dokter itu. keren )

so, people, if you're torn between two choices :

1. step back
2. loose yourself from them
3. look into the bigger picture

maybe you'll find a better solution that can be better for everyone


Cheers!


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Renungan weekend ini #03

Can't say much since things are not going so well.
All I can say is the only person who can help you is yourself. Most importantly, you MUST BELIEVE you can help yoursef & solve your problems.
If you believe, in a mysterious way, God will help you. The universe will join & support you. Maybe you feel that those things are coincident. But the truth is help comes when you believe. So, put your maximal trust, energy & prayers to it!Believe but don't get obsessed!Believe that everything will be alright


[Believe in happy ending,that's what u'll get.Never doubt God]

Sincerely

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socially distorted 16

From: @CinintaCininta
Sent: Dec 8, 2009 01:21

Ngga ada keputusan yg bs membuat semua orang bahagia/puas.kl g pgn diprotesin,g ush jd pemimpin deh.. :)

sent via UberTwitter

On Twitter: http://twitter.com/CinintaCininta/status/6437836530
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Renungan weekend ini # 02

[Bitter things in life makes us appreciate the sweet joy 'n victories..]

Hem..sori,g tepat tiap weekend or tiap hari minggu. Kadang inspirasi tu mncul g tepat.

Anw,kecewa. Ya,kata yg menyeramkan. Ketika si Mr. On time punya pacar tukang telat. Ketika suami2 terhormat menghianati istri2nya demi emosi sesaat atau nafsu belaka. Ketika orang yang kautolong menikammu ari belakang.

Life isn't fair, is it?

Tapi, ternyata semua kekecewaan itu adalah salah satu cara Tuhan menunjukkan indahnya kebahagiaan. So,in other words, kekecewaan itu sendiri adalah suatu rangkaian dari indahnya kebahagiaan.

I remember when I said to my boyfie in our first year : "Aku senang dicoba (oleh Tuhan) krn ak msh diperhatikan dan disayang oleh-Nya, sehingga aku diberi kesempatan utk "naik kelas" dan merasakan kebahagiaan itu"
I was so cocky.
In fact, my life is always full of problems. U may say, it's full of dramas. Haha..
But, miracles happen. So do shitty things. It's a balanced formula. It's yin-yang. It's life.

So, anyone who's suffering from bitter things. Relax, ur sweet rewards will come in the right time (note: in GOD's time, not urs)
Coz life is a "Bittersweet Symphony"


Ow yea..
Kl lagi down, silahkan dgr lagunya Maliq&d'essentials yg "Mata,Hati,Telinga"
Liriknya bikin km hargai small things in life, tp jg melihat kehidupan ini dari scope yg lbh besar


Much love from me to anyone who's readng this note (though I'm not sure I can express it when we meet or talk face to face) I'm an introvert geek, somehow ;b

+_+



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socially distorted 14

talk with people.learn from them.live with them.start by asking what they know.build with what they have.the best leaders are those who, when the job is done, when the task accomplished, the people recognize they have done it themselves (Lao Tzu)

CELEBRATING : socially distorted

i've posted 13 entries of "socially distorted" series
it consists of my random thoughts, quotes from other people
why do the words mostly get shortened??
coz i often grab it from my twitter account
u know, 140-letters thingie..
i hope it doesn't stop u from reading 'n thinking about my posts
i really mean what i've posted

thank you

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socially distorted 13

STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!open ur eyes,it happens around us!save d victims,report d abusers.mental damage is bigger than physical damage

socially distorted 12

Acting cute is not cute at all

socially distorted 11

Why I lov sarcasstic ppl?bcoz they're more human than ppl who think they're better+smarter than anyone else.who do u think u r?robots?

socially distorted 10

Ppl r funny when they throw non-funny jokes.their disappointed faces r priceless.ha-ha-ha!

socially distorted 09

Nothing's wrong by holding out ur feeling.It juz hurts so much in the end

socially distorted 08

Pgn pny ank yg hdup d dunia damai,tnp penyakit 'n kesusahan...heum,dat sounds like heaven :/

socially distorted 07

RT @sherinamunaf: Hidup itu seperti coklat, semakin pahit, semakin asli. Tanpa kedok manis dr gula yang membawa bencana: lemak!
( again from twitter.com . Follow sherinamunaf , the lady-like teen singer who has a perfect example of Gemini's personality. fun, smart, bitter, moody ;p )

socially distorted 06

Jgn takut kl anda bnr!Majulah walau anda terancam kehilangan segalanya.God is with u!sy sdh buktikan :)

socially distorted 05

Yg slh bkn obatnya,yg slh yg ngasih obt tu krn g nerangin dg bnr ke pasien sama yg konsumsi tu obt krn g teliti 'n kritis

socially distorted 04

2012-phobia should make ppl more aware about global warming 'n start to work on peace+poverty issues..