RIP,my beloved kittens

No words can express how I'm feeling
Angelo (the gray one) & Zaramir (the yellow one)were their names
Why do I love them beside the fact that I helped their birth?
Because they showed true compassion towards each other
Because they were not ashamed to show their love to me
That's some rare quality today
Can't find that on people I know
Err...maybe some..

Anw, sadly, I encountered an unsymphatetic people when I was looking for help to my kittens. One man from an animal-hospital said they're not sick,only lost their appetite and I worried to much and simply suggest that I change their diet. Ow yea, he refused my request to hospitalized them just because "We're in holiday"
Ok, so I went home, confused but hoped he's right, but.. No, they got worse..Their bodies went cold and weak.. So I ran to the nearest vet. I called him first but he got mad and told me to come tomorrow on a "proper time" Then I remembered that there's still another vet nearby. Thank God,he was at home, checking out his car. I talked to him, he saw my kittens' breathing is short. But he calmly entered his house, 5 minutes later he showed up wearing white coat and smoked a cigar. While it was too late... My kittens have died in my arms. And all he could say repeatedly is, "What can I do?You're too late"
I wish I could tell him that they were still alive when I talk to him, but thx to his delay, I was standing outside his house, carrying two dying kittens who then died without any proper treatment

A friend said I take their death too much. They were just cats,for God's sake! What if it's the person you love?? Well, I won't blame him. He's got the point.
But what makes me furious is the ignorance.
Those vets, they chose that job, they should be responsible for that. IMHO, most vets in this country still think that, "Come on!it's just an animal!" They don't have the same passion as doctors/dentists do. Maybe, they don't even share the same fear as doctors/dentists do!
Doctors/dentists work with humans. They can praise but they can also complain, even sue us! From the real big deal reason like malpractice or Prita's thingie until those silly reasons I can't explain
Vets work with animals and their owners.. I'm not gonna talk about the owner, because sometimes the owner doesn't really care about their pets as long as they can give adventages.. But, as humans, we can't understand animals' thougts. They can't complain. That's why I think vets are mostly careless.. Tey have no burden, no animals to be pissed off.. It's "healed or die" world
If only every vet.faculty students has to have a pet,maybe they'd understand how it feels to love ur pets and stop being so ignorant

I was just hoping, in the future, vets will be better..

Goodbye, my little furried friends


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Today's Music-Small Two Pieces (Ending theme of Xenogears)

Run through the cold of the night
As passion burns in your heart
Ready to fight, a knife held close by your side
Like a proud wolf alone in the dark
With eyes that watch the world
And my name like a shadow
On the face of the moon

Broken mirror, a million shades of light
The old echo fades away
But just you and I
Can find the answer
And then, we can run to the end of the world
We can run to the end of the world

Cold fire clenched to my heart
In the blue of knight
Torn by this pain, I paint your name in sound
And the girl of the dawn with eyes of blue, and angel wings
The songs of the season are her only crown

* repeat

We met in the mist of morning
And parted deep in the night
Broken sword and shield, and tears that never fall
But run through the heart
Washed away by the darkest water
The world is peaceful and still

Xenogears was one of the well-acknowledged RPG(Role Playing Game) of Playstation
Honestly, I don't really understand the game because when I was starting to play the game, my console broke down :'( Thank God, I had the chance to finish Final Fantasy 8, but not FF7 since I played it after I finished FF8 but then my bro dominated the console with FIFA 98 T_T

Ok,so why this song?
Back in those years,Japanese thingie were so rare.We could only buy on internet,trade with some forum members (I was a member of k*fegaul.com. Joined a few local gatherings.Does it still exist?), search at some small Japanese conventions or trade with friends
So, I got this song from a games soundtrack compilation CD. I fell in love with it since the first time I heard it. The beautiful traditional Irish instruments, the angelic voice & absolutely, the lyrics! Japanese people surely know how to make good lyrics!
Well, it is about lovey-dovey couple. But what I love about it, it tells about how strong the love they have even in the hardest time. Even they have to be parted because of the situation, they still believe in each other. No matter what happens, love exists.
Ow,crap. I can't give a proper review! You must listen to it yourself and read the lyrics! Better yet, know the game story. It was a masterpiece (the game) in its' time



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Renungan weekend ini #03

Can't say much since things are not going so well.
All I can say is the only person who can help you is yourself. Most importantly, you MUST BELIEVE you can help yoursef & solve your problems.
If you believe, in a mysterious way, God will help you. The universe will join & support you. Maybe you feel that those things are coincident. But the truth is help comes when you believe. So, put your maximal trust, energy & prayers to it!Believe but don't get obsessed!Believe that everything will be alright

[Believe in happy ending,that's what u'll get.Never doubt God]



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From: @aghinarottama
Sent: Dec 18, 2009 16:37

buat apa puasa tiap taun kl ngga bisa nahan marah atau saling memaafkan

sent via TweetDeck
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/aghinarottama/status/6791703027

Humans' most basic sin
Sifat yg juga dimiliki oleh Tuhan
Sampai saat ini yang sy pelajari dari sejarah, pengalaman orang lain maupun pribadi, it only leads to destruction whether it can be seen or not
Beberapa saat yg lalu,balita meninggal setelah dibanting berkali-kali oleh ayahnya yang marah
Kemarin,anak seorang purnawirawan TNI nyaris ditangkap oleh para petugas yang menyita rumah dinas almarhum ayahnya krn kemarahannya memancing tindak anarki lainnya
Beberapa bencana alam yang telah dan sedang terjadi pun dianggap oleh sebagian orang sebagai bentuk amarah dari alam yang telah diperlakukan secara tidak adil oleh manusia

Semua mengandung kata "marah"

Sekarang, ketika amarah menimbulkan kehancuran dan kehancuran membawa suatu perubahan,ke arah baik dan buruk, sy jadi berpikir, "Apakah amarah itu dibutuhkan dalam suatu siklus kehidupan?"


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socially distorted 16

From: @CinintaCininta
Sent: Dec 8, 2009 01:21

Ngga ada keputusan yg bs membuat semua orang bahagia/puas.kl g pgn diprotesin,g ush jd pemimpin deh.. :)

sent via UberTwitter

On Twitter: http://twitter.com/CinintaCininta/status/6437836530
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socially distorted 15

What do u get from rushing & harsh words?PAIN.frm ppl who hate u for 'n frm the disappointment u get when u know they hate u for it..
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My bestiest are d best!!
Even though in my darkest hours,they keep comin' & take me outta there with their unexpected ways
Love u all,Shura,Recca,Dai,Ryo+Fuu
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Today's Music - "Tell Me Where It Hurts" by Garbage

What is my day going to look like?
What will my tomorrow bring me?
If I had x-ray eyes, I could see inside
I wouldn't have to predict the future

I wish that you would do with some talking
How else am I to know what you're thinking?
If only people would say what it really was
What it really was
What it really was that they wanted

Tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
They don't love me; I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell

Did they ever give you a reason
To believe in something different
If you're looking for love, for what it's worth
I have plenty of it lying around here somewhere

If you are looking for disappointment
You can find it around any corner
In the middle of the night I hold on to you tight
So both of us can feel protected

Tell me where it hurts,
to hell with everybody else.
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me; yeah I can tell
but you do, so they can go to hell

I've been loved but I didn't know how to feel it
And I've been adored but I don't know if I ever believed it
I've been loved my whole life but I didn't know how to take it

So tell me where it hurts
to hell with everybody else
All I care about is you and that's the truth
they don't love me, yeah I can tell
But you do, so they can go to hell
But you do, so they can go to hell

Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts
Tell me where it hurts now
Tell me where it hurts...

Renungan weekend ini # 02

[Bitter things in life makes us appreciate the sweet joy 'n victories..]

Hem..sori,g tepat tiap weekend or tiap hari minggu. Kadang inspirasi tu mncul g tepat.

Anw,kecewa. Ya,kata yg menyeramkan. Ketika si Mr. On time punya pacar tukang telat. Ketika suami2 terhormat menghianati istri2nya demi emosi sesaat atau nafsu belaka. Ketika orang yang kautolong menikammu ari belakang.

Life isn't fair, is it?

Tapi, ternyata semua kekecewaan itu adalah salah satu cara Tuhan menunjukkan indahnya kebahagiaan. So,in other words, kekecewaan itu sendiri adalah suatu rangkaian dari indahnya kebahagiaan.

I remember when I said to my boyfie in our first year : "Aku senang dicoba (oleh Tuhan) krn ak msh diperhatikan dan disayang oleh-Nya, sehingga aku diberi kesempatan utk "naik kelas" dan merasakan kebahagiaan itu"
I was so cocky.
In fact, my life is always full of problems. U may say, it's full of dramas. Haha..
But, miracles happen. So do shitty things. It's a balanced formula. It's yin-yang. It's life.

So, anyone who's suffering from bitter things. Relax, ur sweet rewards will come in the right time (note: in GOD's time, not urs)
Coz life is a "Bittersweet Symphony"

Ow yea..
Kl lagi down, silahkan dgr lagunya Maliq&d'essentials yg "Mata,Hati,Telinga"
Liriknya bikin km hargai small things in life, tp jg melihat kehidupan ini dari scope yg lbh besar

Much love from me to anyone who's readng this note (though I'm not sure I can express it when we meet or talk face to face) I'm an introvert geek, somehow ;b


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My city

how do u know when a city has developed to a better one?when it has malls,only-for-the-rich apartments,fast food franchises & night clubs.so,it's still flooding when the rain comes?well,it's not a big problem,right?we can all find shelter in malls *oow yea..I'm bit*hy now*
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The Real Patch Adams (thx to Anedya Niedar)

From: @anedyaniedar
Sent: Nov 25, 2009 12:01

Sudah pernah nonton Patch Adams? Here's a link for the real Dr. Patch Adams (yes, he does exist, people!) : http://bit.ly/51mWTs :)

sent via UberTwitter
On Twitter: http://twitter.com/anedyaniedar/status/6041267390

Maybe he's the only REAL doctor :)
Hope I can be like him, well..maybe not by becoming a clown,but by taking care of my patients holistically
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socially distorted 14

talk with people.learn from them.live with them.start by asking what they know.build with what they have.the best leaders are those who, when the job is done, when the task accomplished, the people recognize they have done it themselves (Lao Tzu)


Renungan weekend ini

Sy pernah berpikir kalau ungkapan "katakan kebenaran walau pahit sekalipun" adalah sebuah patriotisme, tindakan heroik, gagah berani. I was wrong.

Ungkapan itu bisa dipakai di sikon yg mendukung, misal jika anda bersama dg "open-minded people" Kalau tidak, kubur baik2 pikiran itu dan mulai berpikir utk ke arah "Silence is Golden"

Kebenaran adalah hal yg nisbi. Sy dan anda bisa memiliki persepsi yg beda terhadapnya. Bahkan bagi beberapa org, atas nama kebenaran, mereka rela mengorbankan apa pun

Yg sy mengerti, kebenaran adalah jika anda merasakan suatu rasa terusik dlm hati anda jika anda melakukan suatu tindakan yg anda ragukan

So, untuk menyatakan kebenaran, anda tidak cukup dg hanya mengatakannya, mungkin anda lebih baik diam dan tetap mengerjakan yg terbaik menurut anda dan biarkan takdir menunjukkan pada mereka siapa yg benar


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CELEBRATING : socially distorted

i've posted 13 entries of "socially distorted" series
it consists of my random thoughts, quotes from other people
why do the words mostly get shortened??
coz i often grab it from my twitter account
u know, 140-letters thingie..
i hope it doesn't stop u from reading 'n thinking about my posts
i really mean what i've posted

thank you


socially distorted 13

STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!open ur eyes,it happens around us!save d victims,report d abusers.mental damage is bigger than physical damage

socially distorted 12

Acting cute is not cute at all

socially distorted 11

Why I lov sarcasstic ppl?bcoz they're more human than ppl who think they're better+smarter than anyone else.who do u think u r?robots?

socially distorted 10

Ppl r funny when they throw non-funny jokes.their disappointed faces r priceless.ha-ha-ha!

socially distorted 09

Nothing's wrong by holding out ur feeling.It juz hurts so much in the end

socially distorted 08

Pgn pny ank yg hdup d dunia damai,tnp penyakit 'n kesusahan...heum,dat sounds like heaven :/

socially distorted 07

RT @sherinamunaf: Hidup itu seperti coklat, semakin pahit, semakin asli. Tanpa kedok manis dr gula yang membawa bencana: lemak!
( again from twitter.com . Follow sherinamunaf , the lady-like teen singer who has a perfect example of Gemini's personality. fun, smart, bitter, moody ;p )

socially distorted 06

Jgn takut kl anda bnr!Majulah walau anda terancam kehilangan segalanya.God is with u!sy sdh buktikan :)

socially distorted 05

Yg slh bkn obatnya,yg slh yg ngasih obt tu krn g nerangin dg bnr ke pasien sama yg konsumsi tu obt krn g teliti 'n kritis

socially distorted 04

2012-phobia should make ppl more aware about global warming 'n start to work on peace+poverty issues..

socially distorted 03

RT @Maylaffayza:We're too ignorant to think that any problem in this world is not caused by ourselves.We are actually one with life
(from twitter.com . follow me: CinintaCininta and Maylaffayza , the Indonesian violinist. She's a beautiful talented 'n a humble lady with deep thoughts )

socially distorted 02

bljr g nyalahin situasi/org lain atas suatu kegagalan.smua tjd krn qt memikirkannya/menginginkannya tjd,sadar/ga.jdlah org yg determinan!

socially distorted 01

mulai berpikir utk "tdk menyerah"..tiap pertandingan pasti ada akhirnya.semoga ak jd juaranya.help me,Ya Allah...



terdiri dari:
Ellenita Soebakti (Ashura)
Dimas Angga (Ryo)
Pujo Laksono (Fuuta)
Dewi Rachmi Sari (Daitsuki)
Rekyan Puruhita (Recca)
Me (Natsu)

heumm...wkt itu kami masih SMP, semua bersekolah di SMPN 1 Surabaya. Fave school that's killed my dreams though (No offense,pop 'n mom) Kami disatukan oleh kecintaan kami thd budaya Jepang (dan sy sdh terbiasa diejek sama siapapun wkt itu.Baik ortu maupun org lain)
So we drew our characters, planned to make some comics, got busted by teachers who think that we are some kinda fishy-group-of-teenagers..maybe, planning to explode the school (hahah!we did..in our comic ;p )

Masa SMU pun kami lewatkan bersama, krn alhamdulillah, kami diterima semua di SMU kompleks. Pujo dan Rekyan di SMUN 5, aku dan Ellen di SMUN 2, Dewi di SMUN 1 , Dimas di SMUN 16 (mayak!adoh dewe!)

Anggota pun kluar-masuk, but it's no big deal..we juz wanna have some fun. tercatat ada Ritsuko, Okama,eh,Okami, Ami, mboh sopo maneh...

so college it was...bnr2 terpisah jauh...
Ellen awalnya di FKG Unair, tp tahun berikutnya dy masuk FK. Dewi di FKG UHT. Dimas di TI ITS. Rekyan di Arsitektur ITS. Pujo...well, kakek gila satu ini memenuhi impian ortunya utk diterima di ITB, pdhl dy pingin ke Jepang. U are one smart-pants, Fuuta!but u act like u are not..I hate that! (read:I like that)

So, it's kinda hard to maintain intense gathering like we used to. Terutama aku.
Tapi hebatnya...yah, bnr2 hebat...di saat ada "sahabatku" yg marah2,mencak2,menye2,menuduhku "ngga peduli dy lagi krn aku sdh sukses" ('n trust me, I didn't ignore her. I tried to contact her, but she didn't reply me. So I got blamed... huh?), anak2 X-SCAPE ini (also known as SCAPERS) msh bertahan, saling percaya, saling mendukung, apa pun yg terjadi, sejauh apa pun, segila apa pun seorang anggotanya menjauh krn suatu masalah.

So that's what I call BEST FRIENDS FOREVER

Do you have what I have?



so this is my first entry..well,uh,hell-ow! ;)
my friends call me Ninta.
things i like..u can see it on my FB profile here : http://www.facebook.com/cininta.marcianora
so basically it's LOVE.MUSIC.PEACE.

This blog's gonna be filled with my random thoughts or simply..my mood distorted writings :)
feel free to judge me 'n let me know. I'd love to know how people think.

anw,that's my cat Ling Ling that's adopted by my BF, Ibnu Satria a.k.a Nunu . He eats 'n grows well now. Thx,hun :)